Parenting Adult Children in the Twenty-First Century

This week I chose to read about how parents are clinging and involving themselves more in their children’s lives, so much so that they do so even in adulthood. For generations, young adults were expected to graduate high school, move out of their house, and live life on their own. They were to become successful and dependent, and eventually have families of their own. Once they moved out of their parents house, parents no longer really had any obligation to be around a whole lot. In today’s society, young adults are still expected to go out into the world and succeed, but not alone. Today, more and more parents are involving themselves in their children’s lives well into adulthood. Of course, this can be either really good or really bad. There are some adult children who enjoy being smothered by their mom and/or dad, which will unfortunately probably result in the adult child to be dependent on others for everything. Then there are adult children who don’t like their parents being involved in every aspect of their lives, and concerned about them and everything they experience, and simply reject and push away their parents. 

1. Buster and Lucille have probably one of the most bizarre, yet so perfectly hilarious relationships depicted of mother and son on television ever. There are always things said in the conversations they have with each other that are creepy and over the top, but I think it’s a great (exaggerated of course) example of parenting adult children. Lucille has such a hold on Buster that she is able to get him to do pretty much anything. Buster is so dependent and influenced by his mother that he has become blinded to the fact that their mother/son dynamic is like no other mother/son relationship ever, and as a result he sheltered and unstable.

2. I believe this article has to do with families in the UK, but it was still worth reading. I found it so interesting that the reason this article is claiming adult children are still living at home is because housing, mortgages, etc. are too expensive. Because they are too expensive, adult children are essentially forced to live with their parents. Of course, for some thing works out, and for others it creates discord in the home. Having parents who are older, with adult children still living at home, traps them and hinders both parties from being able to grow. 

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/06/parents-grown-up-children-living-home

3. In researching this topic, I found it very interesting that many of the articles state that adult children are residing in their childhood bedrooms. I think the significance of this is that these adult children are basically stuck in a lifestyle that keeps them from growing up. Sure, like the article states, living at home while going to college is a great way to afford higher education, but at what cost? I can guarantee, if you are an adult child living at home, your mom and/or dad are cooking for you, washing you laundry, etc., so one is never able to break free of the child role. I feel like this negatively affects both the child and parent. (Although I suppose I am not one to talk, because I am not afraid to admit that I am still somewhat dependent on my parents at 21)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/01/living-with-parents_n_3690069.html

4. Reading this article, I was able to relate to the involved mother. My mom is not over-involved, she would never contact a professor about grades or anything, but even though I am an adult in college, she was and is very involved in pretty much every aspect of my life still. When I am feeling an kind of discomfort, she is the first to drop everything and help me out. There was a time in my life where she was “fighting my battles” for me, as they say. I get it, parents are worried and concerned about their adult children. That’s normal. But when does it become too much? According to this article, students (presumably adult children) were more likely to be depressed and unhappy with a parent who is too over-bearing and involved in their lives. The people surveyed were actually first-year students, so that is saying a lot. Even kids who are barely starting college, probably some even being away from their parents, are desiring to be more independent and free from their moms and dads control.

http://www.thedoctorwillseeyounow.com/content/womens_health/art3965.html

Springing Forward from the Past: An Introduction & One Thousand and Forty-nine Reasons Why It’s Hard to Know When a Fact Is a Fact

 

The readings this week were pretty much just an introduction. An introduction to the book, and an introduction to approaching information. The first reading just goes through the five parts of the book, and what exactly each part is going to entail. This includes topics such as changes in the traditional family to children and social class in today’s society. The second reading brought up the topic of knowing when a fact is a true fact. The example used was “normal” two-parent families, as opposed to single-parent families or families of divorce. The research and data presented on this subject is that children living in two-parent homes do much better than those that don’t, but some articles don’t mention complete information. 

#1. http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/children/children.cfm

^This website confirms everything Chapter 2 was talking about. Children do much better when they live in a home where both of their parents are married. Not only that, they also do much better when religion plays a part in the family as well. 

#2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoVQ1eWRngk

^This video clip I found quite interesting, probably because Ann Coulter herself is an interesting character, but also because she claims that single-mothers produce criminals. Now this isn’t the first time someone has made this claim, but according to so-called statistics, this is true. 

#3. http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2012/11/27/correlation-and-causation-single-mothers-and-violent-crime/

^This is an article that again speaks of the correlation between single-mothers and crime. I am curious to know why single-father house holds do not factor into the crime that is occurring in the nation, but I suppose I will have to do further research on that. According to this article, only about half the time does single-mothers and crime correlate with one another. I think that it’s not so much as how many people are raising a child, but the quality of care and love that the child is receiving from the parent/parents. 

#4. http://www.mercatornet.com/family_edge/view/10976

^This article discusses the importance of raising children in a religious home. Now, religion wasn’t exactly talked about in our text, but what I found interesting is that this article assumes that a religious home includes a mom and a dad. I don’t see why a home where children are attending church and being taught values and beliefs from the Bible can only be due to having both married parents. I am not against marriage or a mom and dad raising a child/children, but I just thought it was interesting how single-parent households are still looked down upon.